“I TOLD YOU NOT TO FEED THEM AGAIN”
GARDEN HUMOUR
A Class For Everyone
Two old age pensioners were sitting outside a Flower Show tent.
One said to the other “Life is so boring, we never seem to have any fun any more.
For £10 I would strip off and streak through the middle of the flower tent”
“You’re on said the friend” Producing a £10 note .
The first pensioner stripped off and completely naked , ran through the flower show tent.
Waiting outside the friend heard shrieks off laughter and loud applause coming from inside the tent.
Suddenly the first pensioner appeared from out of the tent followed by a cheering crowd.
“What happened” said the friend.
Looking a little sheepish the pensioner said,
“I won first prize for the best Dried Arrangement”
Over 1000 varieties of Roses to choose from.
GARDEN HUMOUR
My Wife the Gardener
She dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
She forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine…
She planted roses Tuesday –
she says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but she quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done…
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess she really was engrossed –
she never made the bed…
It was violets on Friday –
in colours she adores,
It never bothered her at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My wife can garden all she wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH THE SPADE!
Over 1000 varieties of Roses to choose from.
www.countrygardenroses.co.uk
